Until about age 7, a child absorbs the basic rituals of spirituality she's exposed to with little understanding of their significance. It's hard for the very young to conceive of a higher power or what religion and faith represent. Around 7, children in religious households enter a new phase of spiritual development, in which they begin to understand the symbolism of various spiritual icons and rituals. They also begin to better imagine the abstract idea of the existence of God.

Observing spiritual rituals is a wonderful way to feed a growing faith. Many families join a religious community at this stage if they haven't already, attending services as a family or enrolling their child in religious education. Others choose to explore spirituality at home by creating rituals and reading books.

Answer questions about the meaning of why things are done a certain way as best you can, or enlist a clergyperson or rabbi to explain what you don't know yourself. Exposure to spirituality helps transmit your values, too.

Rituals also give a growing child security and comfort. They become important touchstones in life that she can count on and later look back upon.

Your life nowOne-on-one time is important. But also critical is the nature of that time. Simply being together driving to school or rushing to martial arts practice isn't the same as spending deliberate, special time together.

Work into your schedule some going-out rituals in which the focus is on doing something together rather than accomplishing something together. That difference of intention gives a more intimate and meaningful tone to your shared time. Go out for ice cream, go to see a movie (just you and your child, not with a slew of friends), take your child to a museum you think she might like.




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